How to deal with unfairness at workplace?

The life is not fair - I don't exactly know who said this first. Some people claim that it was Bill Gates but I think it would have been spoken long long back. The biological response to unfairness in any mind is fear or anger. The idiom is just a reflection of that. Sometimes we try to change it, sometimes we don't even try and leave the way it is and call it an unfair dealing. The stories of a don coming out of jail even after committing the dreaded crime does not touch you directly but you still feel victimized. A corrupt official even though has known means of income but is living a much luxurious life compared to an honest one - you feel cheated. The undeserving is getting the promotion or he/ she is making more money even without putting lot of hard work - a common thing in professional life. Thousands of stories about undeserving success is there. They could be because of skin color, sex, caste, class, religion and build on the same philosophy - "life is not fair". But not necessarily every story has in built biasness. The siblings who were bought in the world by same parents, end up being at extraordinarily different axis even when we know that the parents never differentiated.

It can emanate from luck, choices we make at certain time of life or could be due some inherent natural strength of individuals, which is not visible to external world.

Nevertheless, what does it means to all of us. How such situation or feelings should be handled. A lot of people become obsessive thinkers and hence drain their energy, magnifies emotions and remain entangled with the problem. Blaming is easy, fighting it out is difficult. Bitter thought is obvious but remaining motivated in undesired situation can only make the circle to turn around.

Although, I have not myself mastered a success story but a close observation on how different people handle it differently gives interesting aspect of handling such situations.

Grumbling about things doesn't make things just, the reactive mode indeed doesn't help at all. Instead of getting outraged, the experienced people first control their emotional response and think rationally. Also, they have a clear thinking on what is controllable and what is not. The "act" part should be in the end. First part is to heal oneself before trying to do therapies. We should first use the logical brain to rationalize the response. We may tell ourselves “I failed but he deserved it". We may realize that an unfair situation may not last forever and even it may not be so unfair in bigger spectrum. Sometimes, we may find that it is really unfair and unjustified. Still, the right behavior is to remain calm, careful and do proper planning and acting.

The others behavior cannot be changed so easily, the mistreatment can not addressed by just knocking someone's door. God will not give rebirth if tragedy has already happened. Nevertheless, those who control the instinct, remain clear headed, patient and consistent are the ones who ultimately win over the unfairness.

At workplace, in particular people are treated unfairly. The law of fairness is most of the times untrue there. Usually, we find the undeserving are climbing up the ladder and getting accolades. However, running away doesn't solve the problem. A well calculated private meeting with supervisor, decision maker is most of the time beneficial. At times, even talking to an understanding colleagues can give the flip side of the things and these impartial advises helps. A good supervisor diffuses the problem most of the time and if he unable to solve then it can be taken to the right level. Still, if the organization is not understanding or able to deal with situation one needs to take a tough call on quitting as well. Polish your resume and start gathering references, possibly the green pastures are waiting outside for what you deserve actually. But this is the last resort. Identifying the real reason should be the first thing. At time, perhaps, what we think of ourselves may not be same as what others think of us. Being politically savvy and using right thread of network helps in resolving the organizational issues.

As the career progresses, there are ample situations when one is actually unfairly treated or bracketed. Biologically everyone gets hysterical but a thought out action plan is best option. Don't absorb it but gather information and act appropriately. The worst thing is not to do anything. Don't accept that life is not fair. It could be unfair but cannot lead to inflicting injustice. Particularly, if it impact your career.

In summary, the best way to deal is

- Step back and understand the reason correctly. Talk to supervisor, or anyone whom you think is rational.

- Critically self-analyze. But don't forget to look at positive aspects and future goals.

- Build resilience, develop network, and push through various channels



- If nothing workout, sharpen your resume and look out.

Rio 2016

Rio is unfolding to the world today. Brazil has always been a nation slightly out of sight. people in our part of world only recall it when there is a mention of football. But this time , I am sure the veracity of this big nation would be more glaring through the five circles . I woke up in the morning and enjoying the colourful ceremony . The spirit of Olympics is not only in winning medals but more in the participation and conglomeration of the entire human race . Is n't it look beautiful ? No wars, no terror attacks, no preaching of religion, no annexation of the nation for the sake of economy , no contrived thoughts....everyone just seems to be happy . People participating there are also combative, fighting, but  not for the blood and territory. In the end, every one cheer for others. I wish the world remains the same not only for these 20 days but for ever.

I thought of sharing a real story of a man who is representing India in Rio. This is a true story of a indomitable spirit , in which I have also played some part. This is about a 70 year old retired Col from Indian Army ...an ex international polo player....former judge in the equestrian event at 1982 Asian Games. Add to it , his father was an ex-Olympian. The gentleman happen to live just next door to me. In the millennium city of Gurgaon, you rarely find someone who come out of their own vicinity and welcome you with broad smile. He was completely unknown to me when I moved in my house but just a few pleasantries, and I realised that this man is of different mattel. Sportsman are the real human being . They carry a lot of spirit with them and it could never be a dull moment, if you are with them. He is very old, much older to my age but I enjoy his company and his stories on sports and the personalities with whom he played. He had represented India and Indian Army in more than 180 international matches and has thousand of stories to tell. His house is full of pictures telling his illustrious past. Sometime, he feels so sad with the plight of equestrian events in the country but love for the sport has never dwindled . He has qualms that he is not able to do much. But, never misses any opportunity to watch anything happening in the NCR and  voicing his opinion to the people sitting in the responsible position. Unfortunately, not many ears to listen to him and do something for the upliftment of the sport. There was a deep desire inside him to participate in the olympics.Imagine a man with 70+ age living on the pension income and still having inspiration to participate in olympics on his own. He come to know from somewhere that there is volunteer programme offered by the Rio organising committee. He shared his thoughts with me for using this as an route to go and participate in Rio. I wasn't convinced, still just feeling for his desire, offered a bit of help on how to use the Internet and social media. His journey for olympics started on this small note....don't know how many evenings we spend together in completing the stages and crossing the hurdles but his energy kept us going. Sometimes, there would be no communication from organising committee. Nevertheless, he was relentless ( a typical sportsman). Every evening he would be waiting for me to come back from office and then we would sit together to chart out our plans. Not only the on-line activities but there were many issues to handle. Where to stay, which flight to take, how to learn Portuguese, .... In between there would be lull moments with nothing happening. He would be checking his mail box every hour to see if some further information has come in or not. During these months, once he was extremely  illl. He was on bed for almost a month but flame for olympics was still burning inside. I don't think anyone of us would have the perseverance to live with the passion in such circumstances , but he continued. An ex-army man's sprit was carrying him through tough times.In the process, the final stage come - the interview and I knew he will sail through. He got the confirmation. Still.....the wait was not over, the final invitation had not arrived.With a lot of suspense building around the event , he was getting anxious but never lost hope..... At times, I also use to be bit negative- why does he wants to go? But how could I have understand the sprit . To feel this, one has to be an army man, a sportsman. The ordinary people cannot feel the drive .

Finally, the d-day came, he got his invitation . His energy again was at highest level. Got his visa, hotel, flight..... And he is in arena today.... Great joy to see your pics.....he will be helping the athletes, the visitors ....guiding them for next 20 days.....

Looking forward to listen to your many many stories from the games village ..... Hats off to you and your sprit....I am sure if the Govt has some people like you - we would be coming back from olympics with lot of medals also...... #Rio2016